Bahasa kito.

OUCH!

Maka saya akan tulis dalam bahasa melayu. Terima kasih.

MY FRIEND.

During my first year in gombak I met someone who eventually in time managed to make me see my real potential and along the way encouraged me to use the positive side of me to try harder and achieve more. She made me feel like Im a wondergirl. She also managed to make me paranoid and I finally took that stupid online OCD test and yes... probably I have OCD. hahahaha...

If there's any good part of me it is definitely her who is behind it. But somehow I failed to make her see her potential. I see it as my failure and here I am trying my best to convey this in words on how wonderful this friend of mine is. You may not notice her as she is small. A bit less in height I can say nonetheless she is AMAZING without a doubt.

If only you have time to know me long enough you will know that I have very bad temper. Not that Im proud of it. That is my weakness. Somehow she always managed to control me and cool me down. Sometimes I even get annoyed because she insist to cool me down and INSIST I tell her what she did wrong because when Im mad at times I do behave like a crap even towards her and its not even her fault.

Sometimes Im so frustrated because she is sooo kind towards me when I treat her badly. She is so soft hearted and I dont intend to take advantage of that. We fought countless times just for me to make her understand that in life you need not treat EVERYBODY nicely especially when they did not treat you well. Memang fail btol sampai sekarang I dont know whether she finally understands that or not. hahaha...

She stick with me thru thick and thin (ayat cliche :P) what more can I say... she literally and technically do that. Im proud of her in EVERY way. At times I wished I could really make her understand and know that I without hesitation am proud of her. haih...........

I blame her school teacher and people in her childhood for making her feel less about herself when she's NOT. And the boys that broke her heart when she DONT deserve it. Trust me, when she loves you, her love is unconditional and DO NOT by any chance hurt her or else......... you watch out la! I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN. SERIOUSLY.

I know I've not been a very good friend to her as she did to me. And I dont know how I can ever pay her back.... She is just AMAZING and WONDERFUL.


Nadiya Hafidz, I thanked you for everything that you've done for me. And I hope I managed somehow, eventho in my lack of senses and sensitivity make you happy and show you how much I appreciate you. I would give the world if I could but that is impossible. I only hope we have the luck to do the things we've always wanted to do. at least layang-layang dah dapat! hee~

THANK YOU SZXZM..... :D

You dont know me, you dont even care.

If you people know me well enough, you would know that I'll move mountains if I need and want to. I dont need to be a lesbian to do that. You can say whatever you like but obviously you are missing the best part of me. What do YOU know. Of course cume tau gosip je. heh.

A league on my own.

If you are concern about my future.... tell me about it. Im sure as hell worried about mine too. hahahaha...

Im sitting in the holding room.... but Im not the one competing or moot. Never was and most probably never will. I dont fit in there. Im the only one who doesnt share the same passion as them. and yet there I was. Been to few competitions.... although missed a few especially the ones pie joined (die bengang nampaknye) but lately ni rajin jugak sebab da ade kete. That was not the only awkward moment I had.


Im sitting in a meeting for upcoming conference. I was there since my friend couldnt make it. The committee mostly debaters. Including the officers. They were debaters. and there I was. sitting and listening awkwardly.

So where do I go after this??? gile la macam loser. I feel left out wherever I am. trying to fit in engineering community but I dont do engin. nak join budak budak law................. pon failed. so you can see me as a loner. I try to stay for the competition tadi... somehow failed. first, because I despise that place. second, I dont fit in there and I was there for nobody. it doesnt even matter whether i was there or not. just for the sake of......................... coming???? i dont know.

therefore, unfortunately I have to say that that will be my last time coming to any competition. sadly 'that university' for an ending?? loser lagi sekali. heh. and like it matter whether im around or not.....

Mereka....

Damn it! How I missed that life! haih... so it was AJ's birthday. die pulak emo time tu. so i was spending the night with them untuk birthday aj and i know i missed that moment. being in the same room.. all the laughters... what would i give to have it back..... i dont know... maybe i regret the passed sem. it was indeed a bad one. even now we are no longer in the same room... i am somehow thankful. eventho we dont spend a lot of time together but at least things are better now. compare to that time dulu....

well, few more months left. go to hell to whatever drama. i will spend this few months wisely. things will not always stay the same. so while it is still the same i shall take this chance and not screw it up. peluang cuma datang sekali. unless you are lucky. cheers :)

Missing Ada, Aj, Fee, Pjat, Yana....................................

sekolah.

When people grow up they will then say how much they miss their school-ing era. especially the secondary school as you were teenagers, so eager on doing things that you are not supposed to do but yet put aside things that you should do.

glancing thru the memories during my secondary school... i remember how i used to waste my time walking back to the mini market behind our school. how much i enjoyed marching and scout. the triumphant moment when we march for the district level marching competition but we were forfeited because our stupid teacher did not know about the rules. sohai.

hahaha.. i also remember the cursing! so many language and words for cursing. unlike now where the normal english and malay cursing from me.. haiya.. so boring.

but i also remember the drag of actually GOING to school. the homework, eventho now worse la.. the assignments and tests. but school was way more stressful for me. the heavy textbooks (at least now da 3rd year baru ade statutes tebal dulu tiap tiap hari kena bawak sampai 6. heh) the stupid sains experiments which now i realised i looovee sains. but school made me the opposite now. the lack of instruments and time to conduct, the silly classmate that are time consuming (because the teacher has to yelled and chase them the whole two period. heh)

theres nothing about secondary school or school for that matter that i like (note that now is university, its different). whatever it is I AM GLAD that i've finished school!!! the stupid exams and workbook that you have to do. for some others the tuition everyday! lucky i dont have tuition. hahahahaha....

maka i am happy where i am now. i enjoy laughing at people that are still in school. if there is one part of my life that i regret it would be going to school. hahaha... macam bangang.


(kids, dont try this at home!)