Tuesday, November 30, 2010

8/4/09

Until now I wonder what do I really feel when I saw you at the hospital. I wonder where I get the strength to actually called my friends and tell them that you passed away. Haha~ they even thought that I was high or drunk calling them early in the morning and said you died. I wonder how I can act in such a way like nothing happened.

I remembered calling umi and said it’s really you and you’re gone. Damn! That very moment….. Like the time stopped. And wait for me to compute it was YOU. I guessed I’m a little late. If not maybe I’m able to see you at least on the bed instead of that damn freezer. How devastating life can get. The image is still very fresh and clear.
Maybe being tipsy did help me that day. Seriously, I’m amazed at myself that I still manage to stand on my feet after seeing you. I thought the world was dark at that time. What do I do?? How do I tell them?? How do we carry on with our life? What is going to happen next? What are we going to do?????

DAMN!

And now it’s your birthday. Haih…. I’m just afraid to face the upcoming days. Supposedly this Sunday is your 23rd anniversary with umi. I just don’t know what to imagine. Haish…….

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