Pain.

What would you do or think when the doctor said, "Bring him back home, give him whatever he wants to eat and just wait until he reach his time" I could not possibly think what would I do. Jauh sekali to actually sit and think about it. But that is what some of us have to face. We have to actually face this person that we love, look at him or her everyday thinking that they are going soon. I wonder which one hurt more. Either the one we love just went off suddenly or seeing them everyday and see how they spend their last days....

I think both are equally the same. Except when you know they are going, you can at least treat them nicely or do whatever that you've never do to them before. That is the thing I regret. At least when you know, you give them everything you can give and by the time they go, you know that's the best for them as they suffer enough.. You know you have no regret of letting them go. You give and get all the love you want as its the last days.. Haih. But these things are never easy and in the end you'll always feel like you're not prepare to lose them. What can I say...

This disease slowly take away one by one. Some of them the people I love and others might be the one you love. I never even bother to know what 'this' is before. I know it is something dangerous as there are possibilities that you might not survive and you can die. Sah sah la kan. But I never care. I know few people in my family has this before but I can see they still manage to live and be happy. However, few years back... something happened and make me realise how dangerous 'this' can be. My friend's mum died because of 'this'.................

It is not the fact that she died that makes me realise the danger of 'this'. But it is because I went to see her mother everyday at the hospital and you can actually feel the pain. You can see the pain she has to suffer. I can say her mother is a very strong lady. She manage to hold on for years.... and I really mean years... I think for around 8 years. For someone who suffer 'this' at stage 3 in the beginning, you could imagine how strong she was. I think she stayed on for her kids. For my friend. She went from someone with a strong body that in the end only left bones. You can see the changes. Day by day... she's getting thinner.... haish..

From that point, I realised that if you are ignorant, you could be one of the victim and worst of all the chances of living is not that high. Thanks to none other than our very famous disease...

CANCER

From that point onwards, I started to learn more on cancer. The stages, possible victim, things you should do, what you could do to help... Now cancer is something common. And I mean in my family. One by one... my grandfather died of cancer. Now my uncle is also one of time. But fortunately it is still in the early stage. The latest news I heard, my granduncle is now a stage 3. I dont know exactly what cancer. The doctor said its not even 50-50 that he'll survive. He will not. You cant even operate him because.... da teruk la. No point.

Haih.. You know.... When you've been there with the people who have cancer... You'll then know how painful it is. One of my classmate's dad is also stage 3 of cancer. The doctor gave him less than 3 months. And I'm not saying that the doctors are bad for being such a pessimist. I know. It wont take you long when your cancer has reach that level. Seriously nothing can be done except you wait and see............